Lee Briers on grief, talking and need for welfare managers

And in talking about the way he had to deal with the tragic death of his brother Brian in 2001, Briers offered a suggestion.

Briers advocates of adopting full time welfare managers who would give players advice, support and an arm around their shoulders in a way that is independent from the needs of the clubs.

The game is much better these days than it was in 2001 when Briers admits to going off the rails with grief following the shock death of his brother Brian, aged 34, just five weeks after being diagnosed with testicular cancer.

It happened so quickly that the then 21-year-old Warrington half back fund it hard to grasp - made worse by not being able to say goodbye.

Briers explains: “Brian was in the Black Bull one night when he felt ill, and when he got home he had turned yellow.

“Mum took him to hospital and within eight hours the tests came back with the result that he had testicular cancer.

“Looking back he must have been really unlucky because he had one testicle removed when he was a kid - but he ended up getting cancer in the other one.

“With testicular cancer they reckon you have an 80 per cent chance of getting rid of it if you catch it early enough so everyone was concerned, but  positive after the initial diagnosis.”

Brian underwent extensive chemotherapy at Clatterbridge and was quite poorly at home and was taken back into hospital. Within five weeks he passed away.

“It was a massive shock,” Briers said.

“I got a phone call at about 3am saying we needed to get to Whiston hospital as he was ready to pass away.

"I did not expect that phone call and unfortunately, I got there too late.

“I still see all the red lights on the way there – and will never forget the song Fly Like a Bird by Nellie Furtado which was on in the background.

“The hardest part was my mum and dad. Your parents don’t ever expect to be seeing your kids go before you. They were distraught.”

Brian Briers, right, with his dad

The Briers family home was Peet Avenue, a drop kick away from the Knowsley Road ground where he was graduate through the Academy to the Saints first team, playing in the 1997 Challenge Cup semi-final win before being sold to Warrington and missing out on playing at Wembley with his hometown team.

He described himself as “an absolute nightmare as a kid” growing up with a sister and three older brothers and getting pulled into line by his siblings.

“That helped me growing up. Things happen for a reason with me coming along so many years after the others.

“And being from St Helens all I wanted to do was play rugby league – so growing up in that environment helped,” he said.

“We had a three-bedroomed house in Peet Avenue, I used to have to get in my mum and dad’s bed because there was no more room for me in the house because the back two bedrooms were taken by my three brothers in one and my sister in the other.

“Living like that toughens you up, it makes you fight for everything – you had to eat your tea quick in our house!"

But he was close to Brian, 13 years his senior, and who was something of a guiding light and supporter in his early days of sport.

“We were thick as thieves and he was the one that would always watch me play sport, whether football or rugby he would always be there on the touchline,” he said.

Although Briers gets upset when giving an account of those tragic events, he has no qualms about showing that emotion and believes it can have a positive effect.

His message was not simply directed to men to check themselves for what could be early signs of testicular cancer, but also the mental well-being side of being able to talk to others about grief and the pressures of life.

“Speaking about this again at events like this, if I can save one person’s life that will do for me.

“It took me 10-12 years before I could visit his grave without crying because I had that much grief in me. I would not speak about it because there was nobody really to speak to, it was not something you did.

“I tell people, young people, friends, players – speak about stuff – don’t let it eat you up.

“As much as it is hard to talk, it is also OK to talk and show emotion. I am fine getting upset and I don’t care who I get upset in front of.

“What is there to worry about – a few tears and a bit of emotion. Emotion shows that you care.

“That grief meant I went off the rails massively but my saving grace was my rugby to focus on.

“Luckily, I had that - some people don’t,” Briers said.

After some tough early years at the Wire, fortunes turned around in 2009 when he finally got to play in the Challenge Cup final he had been denied at Saints 12 years earlier.

Briers explains: “When we won the cup in 2009 the semi-final was on Brian’s birthday, and I scored a try in the semi and I looked up.

“I am a big believer that he was on my shoulder that day.

“A year later, 2010, the semi was again on his birthday and I scored in the exact same spot and I swear down he was looking down on me.

“I took the cup up to his grave at St Helens Cemetery in 2009 because he would have been so proud.

“He had been on that journey from me being four till I was 21. He was always there to support me as an amateur.”

Briers says he uses his past to fuel his future – and in that way he wants that to help other people.

He also would like to see something more concrete set in stone – specifically highlighting the need for Player Welfare Managers.

“Back in the early days nobody understood mental health, the clubs didn’t have welfare managers, there was no State of Mind, no Offside, no Tony Adams’ Sporting chance – that is how it was.

“The game is chalk and cheese to what it was and it is important that we keep moving it forward.

“We have this #TackleTheToughStuff round coming up, but for me if we are going to take it seriously we need to appoint full time welfare managers.

“By that I mean full time welfare managers, not someone who does kit or player performance with it.

“Let’s have 12 welfare managers employed by the RFL and they then they pick up two Super League clubs and two from the Championship/League 1.

“If we are serious, let’s cut £50,000 from each club’s budget and fire it into a welfare manager.

“Then it becomes independent – and you as a player are totally confiding in that person and it won’t affect your performance or whether you get picked.

“I think independent welfare managers are the next step,” he said.